help

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August 23rd, 2025



"“Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That's above and beyond everything else, and it's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don't come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people's words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.”


I am having painful thoughts, I don't know how to live, anymore. I haven't written it in the last couple of days. I'm blocked mentally. I feel hopeless, defeated, and suicidal. I'm trying so hard to stay above water, barely breathing. I don't know if I could do it here, kill myself, with Celeste around. She'd be the one to find me and I don't think she'd be able to handle more trauma. I'd have to go, elsewhere. Maybe, the beach. Somewhere, I used to love.

At least, I could go, knowing that Gunner and Molly would be taking care of... fed and walked.

It's really dark for me right now. Thinking about my future is bleak, final and absolutely frightening.

I am scared, not for myself, but for ... others. There aren't "others".

Who am I kidding? I wish, there were...

I need help.

I can call my one and only friend.

Suicide Hotline.

988.

I am going to tattoo that on my heart.

For the 5th day in a row, streak record.

I wish I had a gun. I HAVE A GUN.

Most days, I am not sure what to do.

I sleep. 

The one thing saving me. 



Comments

  1. Anonymous08:04

    😢😢

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous08:04

    I think about suicide all the timeingetit

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:01

    Sad

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thedizz03:10

    See how fast things can change tho... You couldnt picture your future this month but this present day your future looks bright. I'm here. Always.
    Sincerely
    Your one and only safe space

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous04:02

    :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous04:03

    https://988lifeline.org/

    ReplyDelete

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