dear mom
01/15/15
Trying to send my mother a letter. Hoping she receives one of them... I apologize for the uncomfortable position this may put you in. Motivated purely with love. Clean and Sober, quite some time.
Dear Mom,
I had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that Michael needed me as his investment. Mom, he has claimed me as an Employee at Greene Enterprises from 8 years, $135,000.00 was income I made while working at Greene Enterprises from 2004-2010. The hardest thing to understand is why Michael lied to me. I know he had to push me out of the family because I started to ask questions. Michael's last words that he spoke to me that very day when I told him I was gay; "You will be homeless in less than three weeks, you will come crawling back to me as you have done before. You can't do it without me. I will keep the family from you, you better believe I will, I am the head of the household and I decide who you can speak to and who you cannot..."
Lord, help us. What unloving words from a Father, my heavenly Father would never forsake me in such a way. You believe that God doesn't love me or accept me because I am GAY? God knew that I would choose this way before I even did.. God loved us before we even existed (Eph 1) and died for us while we were still sinners and His enemies.
Unfortunately, I believed Michael's every word for a while, until my better half picked me up and loved me until I believed in myself again. I have learned to trust, I can lean on someone without falling. Truth will set you free. And, it has done exactly that for me. I am free to breath, to be me, to ask questions when things do not make sense or add up. Free. Free. Free. It is liberating.
Mom, I am very sorry that I lied to you about my life, my relationship well, everything really. I do not want to make excuses for my lies; I want to own up to each and every one of them. I was afraid. I was afraid if I told you the truth about being in love with someone that I would be pushed away from the family, ONCE AGAIN. Do you blame me? I was dropped at the blink of an eye because I was dating an African American. The results of Michael discrimination, 6 years of neglect, eight balls of Crystal Methamphetamine and Estrella jail. (Literally had to go crawling back to Michael, confused when I found out his discrimination towards African Americans ceased to exist, it was acceptable, JoBeth was dating a black man. Punch to the gut don’t you think?
All I ever really wanted to do was to be able to talk to you like a mother and daughter should. My sexual orientation does not change me as a person, and surely hadn't changed because I went to the Home of Hope. My goal when I attended the rehabilitation was to be sober, and that I am and will always be.
I hold onto your words and wrap them tight around my heart, you did speak up mom. Thank you. When I came out, you told me you would always love me because I am your daughter. I believe your ever word. Thank you, thank you for allowing me to look deep inside myself to realize, it has nothing to do with me.
A year ago, I wished I could change the person I was and the people I choose to love. Today, I have my head held high in such confidence and respect for the woman I have become. I am very happy in my relationship; Celeste and I are together still and stronger than ever before. Recently, we hit our 4 year Anniversary. We are planning a wedding and for a baby in June. A Grandmother indeed!
I am working as the Director of Reporting and Application Development for AT&T, in Phoenix; I landed the job in November. I am a computer programmer and write PHP, MYSQL tools for the company; it is a wonderful opportunity and a blessing for sure. I am writing a book, 396 pages so far, still more to come. It is a personal narrative of My life. Experience is what makes a good writer. I am planning to self-publish in March, keep your eyes open for it. ;)
Today, I am very grateful that everything has happened the way it has; I know deep down in my heart all of my experiences, trials, tribulations have happened not because I am unlovable or imperfect. God has given me a voice, a strength, a passion to be there for people who have been neglected, left homeless by their families because of their sexual orientation. I am determined. I am successful. I am proud. And I am gay.
I am praying with all my heart. I breathe in hope and faith that someday God restores our relationship. After all, Mom, you know that Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
With love always,elmer roo
“Looking at the ocean makes me miss people and hanging out with people makes me miss the ocean. It’s weird.”
Trying to send my mother a letter. Hoping she receives one of them... I apologize for the uncomfortable position this may put you in. Motivated purely with love. Clean and Sober, quite some time.
Dear Mom,
I have been thinking about you too much. I love you and I miss you. I am not sure if you have been receiving any of my letters in the mail or my packages I have been sending you. Michael may be intercepting the packages and letters, I am not sure. Or Maybe you have not wanted to write me back. I just want you to know I love you so much.
I hope you are doing okay. Congratulations on your first Grandson! Hopefully, someday I will meet the little guy. I am doing very well. It sure was rough for a while; I was homeless after I was evicted from Mountainside. Michael was very unfair and unrighteous during that time. I know you never did have anything idea when it came to money, your response was "go ask your dad." If only you knew Mom...
I lost my job in May, which put a lot of pressure on Celeste, supporting four cats, a hopeless, helpless, me and of course herself. She is a woman full of wisdom. She has been my strength. She has Endurance and Perseverance, most importantly Love for me. Unconditional love flows freely, in both directions. It is constant.
I hope someday you will have a complete understanding of unconditional love, something I truthfully never understood, until last year. Celeste’s love for me is undeniable, unfailing and true. Aunt Becky, Uncle Clay, Chelsea and Dillon have been true blessings in time of desperation. They continue to showers me with much love. Please Mom, do not punish them for loving me for the way I am. Celeste's family has been an amazing God send and support. Her family, though Christian, accept us, love us and cherish us just the way we are.
Michael is shameful, shameful that his daughter is gay, a blow to his reputation. That is all it has ever really been about. How we look on the outside, how much money we have, suppress your feelings on the inside.
I have come to the conclusion your odd obsession of Adolph Hitler is the relation between Michael Greene, the similarities between the two people go unnoticed to most, but for some the congeneric characteristics are haunting. I know, you are in a very controlling relationship, dominated by lies and a false perception of a Christian man.
I know deep down inside of your heart and soul you see the wrong, the unloving motives behind his actions and his thinking. I know now, after stepping away from the immediate family, you have a choice...I recall the many times you would ask Michael if you could start substitute teaching, dying to get a job. His response was always discouraging making you sounds incapable of turning on a computer. Come on Mom, I know you better than this.
I hope you are doing okay. Congratulations on your first Grandson! Hopefully, someday I will meet the little guy. I am doing very well. It sure was rough for a while; I was homeless after I was evicted from Mountainside. Michael was very unfair and unrighteous during that time. I know you never did have anything idea when it came to money, your response was "go ask your dad." If only you knew Mom...
I lost my job in May, which put a lot of pressure on Celeste, supporting four cats, a hopeless, helpless, me and of course herself. She is a woman full of wisdom. She has been my strength. She has Endurance and Perseverance, most importantly Love for me. Unconditional love flows freely, in both directions. It is constant.
I hope someday you will have a complete understanding of unconditional love, something I truthfully never understood, until last year. Celeste’s love for me is undeniable, unfailing and true. Aunt Becky, Uncle Clay, Chelsea and Dillon have been true blessings in time of desperation. They continue to showers me with much love. Please Mom, do not punish them for loving me for the way I am. Celeste's family has been an amazing God send and support. Her family, though Christian, accept us, love us and cherish us just the way we are.
Michael is shameful, shameful that his daughter is gay, a blow to his reputation. That is all it has ever really been about. How we look on the outside, how much money we have, suppress your feelings on the inside.
I have come to the conclusion your odd obsession of Adolph Hitler is the relation between Michael Greene, the similarities between the two people go unnoticed to most, but for some the congeneric characteristics are haunting. I know, you are in a very controlling relationship, dominated by lies and a false perception of a Christian man.
I know deep down inside of your heart and soul you see the wrong, the unloving motives behind his actions and his thinking. I know now, after stepping away from the immediate family, you have a choice...I recall the many times you would ask Michael if you could start substitute teaching, dying to get a job. His response was always discouraging making you sounds incapable of turning on a computer. Come on Mom, I know you better than this.
I had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that Michael needed me as his investment. Mom, he has claimed me as an Employee at Greene Enterprises from 8 years, $135,000.00 was income I made while working at Greene Enterprises from 2004-2010. The hardest thing to understand is why Michael lied to me. I know he had to push me out of the family because I started to ask questions. Michael's last words that he spoke to me that very day when I told him I was gay; "You will be homeless in less than three weeks, you will come crawling back to me as you have done before. You can't do it without me. I will keep the family from you, you better believe I will, I am the head of the household and I decide who you can speak to and who you cannot..."
Lord, help us. What unloving words from a Father, my heavenly Father would never forsake me in such a way. You believe that God doesn't love me or accept me because I am GAY? God knew that I would choose this way before I even did.. God loved us before we even existed (Eph 1) and died for us while we were still sinners and His enemies.
Unfortunately, I believed Michael's every word for a while, until my better half picked me up and loved me until I believed in myself again. I have learned to trust, I can lean on someone without falling. Truth will set you free. And, it has done exactly that for me. I am free to breath, to be me, to ask questions when things do not make sense or add up. Free. Free. Free. It is liberating.
Mom, I am very sorry that I lied to you about my life, my relationship well, everything really. I do not want to make excuses for my lies; I want to own up to each and every one of them. I was afraid. I was afraid if I told you the truth about being in love with someone that I would be pushed away from the family, ONCE AGAIN. Do you blame me? I was dropped at the blink of an eye because I was dating an African American. The results of Michael discrimination, 6 years of neglect, eight balls of Crystal Methamphetamine and Estrella jail. (Literally had to go crawling back to Michael, confused when I found out his discrimination towards African Americans ceased to exist, it was acceptable, JoBeth was dating a black man. Punch to the gut don’t you think?
All I ever really wanted to do was to be able to talk to you like a mother and daughter should. My sexual orientation does not change me as a person, and surely hadn't changed because I went to the Home of Hope. My goal when I attended the rehabilitation was to be sober, and that I am and will always be.
I hold onto your words and wrap them tight around my heart, you did speak up mom. Thank you. When I came out, you told me you would always love me because I am your daughter. I believe your ever word. Thank you, thank you for allowing me to look deep inside myself to realize, it has nothing to do with me.
A year ago, I wished I could change the person I was and the people I choose to love. Today, I have my head held high in such confidence and respect for the woman I have become. I am very happy in my relationship; Celeste and I are together still and stronger than ever before. Recently, we hit our 4 year Anniversary. We are planning a wedding and for a baby in June. A Grandmother indeed!
I am working as the Director of Reporting and Application Development for AT&T, in Phoenix; I landed the job in November. I am a computer programmer and write PHP, MYSQL tools for the company; it is a wonderful opportunity and a blessing for sure. I am writing a book, 396 pages so far, still more to come. It is a personal narrative of My life. Experience is what makes a good writer. I am planning to self-publish in March, keep your eyes open for it. ;)
Today, I am very grateful that everything has happened the way it has; I know deep down in my heart all of my experiences, trials, tribulations have happened not because I am unlovable or imperfect. God has given me a voice, a strength, a passion to be there for people who have been neglected, left homeless by their families because of their sexual orientation. I am determined. I am successful. I am proud. And I am gay.
I am praying with all my heart. I breathe in hope and faith that someday God restores our relationship. After all, Mom, you know that Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
With love always,elmer roo
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