new car

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april1st, 25

"Missing someone isn't the hardest part. It's the part where you have to pretend you're okay."


I found my way to the driver seat of my car. Every day I'm reminded of you. I'm going to buy a new car, a car that doesn't make me think of you. We shared so much time in this car pickups drop offs drinking and sex. That time at the park and the time you couldn't feel anything and you came so quick on my fingers. And then that last night, and my heart physically hurts.

I can still smell the intimacy and feel the energy of what took place that night.

God how I miss you.

Sitting with my forehead against the will paralyzed by these thoughts, hot tears and recollections filled my head.

I'm not going to work.

Dressed in my Calvin Klein pants suit, my badge against my chest bone, director of engineering.

I couldn't bear to do it.

Another remote day in the darkness in silence laying in my bed just missing you.

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