rushing shine

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 04/03/2025    


"I did my part. I hope my absence gives you peace, my love couldn't."


It's 4:00 a.m. in the morning, and I can't sleep. And I can't forget your touch, in the shower I try to rub my skin raw.

I can still feel you. Your body next to mine, your lips pressed softly on to mine. You are permanently etched into my skin just like a tattoo.

You are still with me in my heart and in my head.

Please go please. 

I'm struggling through these days when you are absent. I don't know what to do. Is this love? I'm up all hours of the night afraid to close my eyes, all I can see is the pale form that isn't you. I weep in the rain and in the shower so my tears go unnoticed. 

I write and I write and I write. Then scream. I scream because of this pain you have caused, scream for the good times, I'm crying so ferociously. I'm angry, sad and lonely.

This can't be love.

My friends keep telling me you'll get over it, everyone does, everybody goes through breakups, other people don't understand. If this is really love. My therapist told me to attend a group surrounded by people going through the same process. You have meaning and purpose. You will be happy again. And her. She will grow, mature, she will eventually discover herself, find a work-life balance. She too will be happy.

Oh to have been in love.


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