#foryoupage

May 22nd, 2025

"Dear Cupid, next time, hit both."

I tried to love you even when I was scared, alone and you weren't there to comfort me, 

... even by a text.

I went through trauma, trials and tribulations. All the while getting over the loss of you, of us. I lost myself in this pain. You already had time to emotionally prepare, months before, you replaced me with someone else. 

Ouch. 

I wish you had met me halfway.
With WHOLENESS.
With FULLNESS.
With entirety. 

Even when you were scared.

I have been afraid too.

And I am tired. 

I was patient, I was fair, respectful, I was loving.

I didn't just say the words, like you did.

I showed it.

I loved you even after letting you go.

I miss you even after saying it.

You mattered to me.

You were always my first option, while I remained your last.

At first, you tried to feel the same. But without follow through you left me bleeding, alone.

My commitment, my love. It wasn't enough for you... Not because you are a bad person or you didn't care. 

But because love without effort is just a shadow.

And that is exactly what I had become to you.

Why do I feel like a bad person for wanting more than almost?

Or maybe?

Or sometimes?

I finally said "this hurts too much."

Even though you walked away months ago, without even looking back.

I walked away, YET my soul still reaches for you, in silence.

I am human.

I am emotional.

I feel everything wholeheartedly.

I realize that loving you doesn't mean losing myself.

And if this is where our story pauses... or ends....

LET IT BE KNOWN...

I showed up. FULLY. Every single day even after you stopped loving me.

I was reliable.

I was faithful. 

Even in fear.

Even in silence.

Even when I was breaking, falling to pieces.

Even when you broke me.... ;(

And if you ever wonder, if I truly love you…

Yes, 

Loudly. 

Quietly. 

Even when I finally had to walk away.