one pill makes you larger

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October 1st, 2025

"If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime."



    Who ever came up with that quotes is full of fucking shit, they probably have never even touched a drug in their life, probably still a virgin and was bullied throughout high school. Speaking of pills, how can you possibly fake so much happiness in one tiny little pill?
    I understand why people become addicted, especially to pharmaceuticals. I remember my pharmacist reminding me; "don't drive or operate heavy machinery, Miss Jamie. Nodding my head, acting as if I was agreeing with her, rather I was listening to the white paper bag in her hands. My days and nights were about to get 10 times better. Klonopin, sure it did make me a slightly drowsy. Xanax made me super relaxed... and well, Ambien made me crazy. Just add a little tequila which made me fucking psychotic. I would yell, scream, throw glass plates at walls, wake up in parking lots, and say shit to people I didn't really mean, if I even remembers. The hydrocodone and Percocet pills made me lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, and I would play this weird game with myself, "don't fall asleep". Until I ultimately couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
    Ever since I can remember, I was... different, certainly introverted as a child and I would day dream about using drugs. What it would feel like to get stoned, or smoke crack, drop blotter acid. My temper was a child was explosive, similar characteristics of a serial killer. Now as an adult, there was no day dreaming about it anymore, I just wanted to take the edge off. Not to mention I stopped popping pills to shooting the shit right into my veins. All of it, a cocktail of sorts. Probably shouldn't be alive at this point. But, unfortunately, still am. Ugh. I am sad and lonely. People who say they would never leave, they always do. AND then I'm alone again. I am sick of this cycle and I do not believe it will ever change. My parents didn't even love me, why would anyone else? Sometimes I'm afraid of my own skin and all the scars that run deep in my veins.

Are you ready? Are you ready?

For someone who could turn you inside out?

No one dares peel back my layers. No one is around long enough.

All this damage. You're a f****** mess.

Are you ready?

I want your damaged skin.


Comments

  1. Thedizz19:03

    My drug dealer was a doctor doctor (in my macklemore voice)

    ReplyDelete

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